Not my baby...

I was reading another blog (http://midlifeandtreachery.blogspot.com/) today and this made me think. I have a colleague at work who I often have tea with in the morning. The other day she was telling me about her life and she confided that she had gotten pregnant with her first husband. She found out this child had Down Syndrome and subsequently aborted the baby. She noticed as she told me this that I was visably affected. She said she had been hesitant to tell me because of my own disability. I was taken aback, and I did try not to show it. I do believe, as readers of my previous posts will note, in pro-choice. I agree that it is her choice whether to abort or not, and believe it or not I do understand her decision. But a part of me still took her decision very personally. You can be friends, family, partner, colleague to someone with a disability and care for them, love them, be incensed at the injustice they endure, but it's a whole different issue when you are about to give birth to a child with a disability. Not my baby. And to be brutally honest, I think that's part of what's fundamentally wrong with our society. Disability is fine as long as it affects someone else. Which begs the question of how acceptable disability "really" is in our society? How can it not affect us when we hear that our family, friends, colleagues don't want a disabled baby? And how do we keep respect for personal decisions when it touches something that is so personal to us? I like this person. I think she's a good person and I hope to maintain a close relationship with her, at least at work. But it still hurts to know that she felt having a down syndrome baby was a sign that this baby wasn't mean to be. She is since divorced and remarried with a healthy baby, and I am happy for her. But I am still left feeling a little less because of what she told me.