Ok, so for those of you who haven't gotten it by the title, I'm not really talking about fish. I hate my job. I really, really, really, really, REALLY hate my job!!! It's at the point where I am dreading going in every morning. Sunday I start to get that pit in my stomach. That impending sense of doom feeling. It is true that my position is ending soon and that I will be free. Actually, I have only about 2 weeks left in the position and you can bet I am thanking my lucky stars! The problem is that the SECOND I knew that there was even the POSSIBILITY of this other woman taking over my position, I COMPLETELY and UTTERLY disengaged. My mind was gone, out the door and on vaca!!! I kept thinking "oh god, what if she doesn't take it and I have to come back for a couple more months??" I think I might actually have shot myself. Well, not actually... but I seriously think I could have had some sort of breakdown.
So I found out last week that some of my colleagues have been telling the new woman that they have "reservations" about me. I can handle that. Whatever. Coz truth be known... I HATE MY JOB. So yes, naturally that will reflect in the way I do my job. If I hate something, I cannot do it well. Call it a weakness, call it saving sanity.. whatever.. I cannot do it well if the interest is not there. So hearing that didn't bother me that much, although of course it did a little. Yada yada yada, move to today. I get called in to my boss's office with my manager and apparently I have been spending way too much time on the internet at work. Wow. What can you say to that? This means that they've actually flagged me, because they don't do random checks. It is true that I surf the web at work. It is true I check my email at work. And it's true that 2 of my 5 days of work each week are more down times. However, this is a bit misrepresented. You see, I have the net open on to check my personal email all the time. That doesn't mean I'm checking it all the time, but it's there in the background. I freely admit that. Then a whole discussion starts of how I could better use my time, of which I offer up suggestions. They admit this is useless as I'm leaving the position in 2 weeks. Holy freaking god, people! Holy freaking god!! I have had it. I have totally had it. I need to get out of there so freaking fast it ain't funny. I think this job is shortening my life. If I stay in it long enough chances are I'll probably get hit by a bus or something, as luck would have it. Anyone know a good primal scream therapist?????????