Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Getting away with murrrrrrrderrrrrr

I was thinking today, as usual. It would be totally logical if all the murderers out there were disabled. Really, think about it. How many times in your own lives, have you gotten away with murder? Ok, well, not literal murder. But people with disabilities seem to have this reputation for being innocent and completely incapable of committing any wrong or mean acts. I mean, we're too busy being brave and courageous and absolutely inspirational, right? What a FANTASTIC cover!! It's absolutely brilliant. Can't you see it on A&E's Cold Case Files now? "Really, I can't believe it. She's been my neighbour for over 15 years and she's just lovely. What a trooper, going to work every day in that adapted transport, waiting patiently every day for her driver to bring her to work. Imagine that, she works too! I mean, who would have thought she'd have the time to work, wait for her transport AND commit these heinous crimes! Apparently she even volunteered too. You know, I think we should go easy on her. She's really such an inspiration. And, you know, if I had what she had on her plate, I'd probably snap too. God bless her. I'll miss her. She was a wonderful neighbour."

I had to pick up a parcel today. While waiting in line at the post office, I was thinking that no one at that post office had ever asked me for I.D. Ironically, today they did. But it's so rare, that the chance they'd notice you on that one particular day that you decide to commit murder would be so freakishly slim.

Now, by no means am I endorsing murder, and certainly not suggesting that all you disabled people out there get right on that. But, I'm just saying... you could probably get away with it. Not that that's a good thing. Really.

I did see one of those A&E shows, probably American Justice, where the killer actually was disabled. And, let me tell you, it was rather exciting! He was caught and went to jail, as he should have, but I really thought it was great to see a person in a wheelchair portrayed as something other than bloody wonderful. I hope that in some sick, twisted way that made sense. Now if the news would do a piece on beggars who use their disability to gain sympathy, and, in turn, money and what a crock that is, or even something more useful such as how inaccessible our damn cities are, or even a story about a disabled person that has NOTHING to do with disability, instead of wasting their time on stories about people with disabilities who are labelled inspirational because they do what non-disabled folk do every freakin' day, I'd be even happier.


miss tango in her eyes said...

Ugh you reminded me of some 40 year old alcoholic man in a wheelchair, who lives in my neighbourhood. He pulls up beside you in the park and ignores that you are sleeping or reading a book and trys to start a conversation. He seems lonely, so you chat a little, then he pulls out his beer and starts spitting and horking all over the place,it so gross you just have to leave, because you don't have the heart to tell him to ef off.

Ziggi said...

I'm not sure about this inspirational and innocent stuff. I know loads of dis-persons. Some are cool some aren't even close. You may be mistaking people not knowing how to interact as opposed to thinking everyone with a disability is up for sainthood. Cutting you slack may be their way of feeling bad for you. Which thus changes you from being considered inspirational to being worthy of pity.

If you really want to know how saintly they think you are, ask if you can hold their wallet for an hour to two. That should clear this up quickly.

imfunnytoo said...

I love this column! The only problem is, we've actually got *two* stereotypes. The disabled crimminal sure blows the "sainted martyr," stereotype out of the water...

But darnit, it adds fuel to the fire of..."Disability only happens if there's a sinful soul inside the disabled body," stereotype...

I admit.

I once purposefully acted pathetic to get out of a French homework assignment I had forgotten

My bad :)