So indecisive...

I've got a little conundrum to ponder. When I moved here, I was employed by a large organization and have really enjoyed it. The problem is, I have been on contract, covering people on vacation, on mat leave, on sabbatical... which means no benefits... no vacation pay, no holiday pay, no sick day pay. No dental coverage, etc. However, I do get pay in lieu of so the cash flow is pretty good actually. I've worked there about 2 years. I have interviewed for 5 permanent positions with no luck. The person who was awarded the last job I interviewed for is on maternity leave. She is switching jobs internally. She has 6 months left of mat leave. I was 2nd choice and therefore asked to sit in for her for that remaining time. When you take a covering position like that, you are stuck in it for at least 6 months. I cannot apply to other positions within the organization while in that position.

During the fall, work had been slow. I went 2 1/2 months with nothing. As a result I applied elsewhere and got a job as a contract worker at another place. It turns out the position I have been covering there is becoming permanent and I have a very good chance of getting it, but of course it is not certain. Long story short, I accepted the first 6 month position, but am applying for the permanent job at the 2nd place and told my boss there that I would take that job if given it. I'm having a bit of anxiety over this decision! Here's why:

Basically, if I get the 2nd job, I'll have to leave the first job, which is one of the largest employers for my field in the city. Once I leave, which will probably be only a couple weeks after I start the first job, I will not be in the good books with my first employer. Getting back in there should things not go well with the permanent job will be difficult as I'm sure my boss will not be too happy with my leaving right after I start a position. I really enjoy the present position at the second place, but for some reason I am hesitant about giving up the first employer. I worry about burning bridges I may later need.

The place with the permanent position has a great staff, colleagues I get along with. But it is going through a lot of changes and restructuring. There have been lay offs. My field is sorted out so I am not worried that will affect me, but there have been so many new staff lately it's been quite radical. And it affects the environment. There are office politics at both places and I believe it's pointless to hash those out here. No place is perfect. But it is a smaller place and in my introverted nature, I like the anonymity that you can choose to have with a bigger place.

Oh, did I mention the cafeteria sucks at the permanent place? ;)

I am trying not to worry about it now, as I have some time before the interview and I find out what is what. But, as you know, I'm a worrier :).

And a rambler.

Have I made sense at all? I'm so confused!!