I've been rather lethargic today. I couldn't sleep last night. I feel asleep at 7am this morning, and woke up at 11:30. Not wanting to spend my whole day in bed, I got up. That lasted about 3 hours. I went back to bed around 3 and just woke up again now, at 5pm. I'm not usually one to do that. I hate afternoon naps. They usually end up making me feel worse... groggy and disoriented. Not to mention the fact that it usually screws up my ability to sleep the coming night and starts this cycle. I'm not one who can do a 20 minute power nap, because it usually takes me longer than that to fall asleep in the first place. But every now and then I can't fight that lack of energy lull that pulls me in. Today's relapse was due to a number of things, I'm sure. The first being that it's snowing! This is the first week of snow of the season and it's damn depressing me! I hate, abhorr, detest, despise winter!! It is the purest evil I know. The oncoming of it makes me feel trapped. Last year I was able to get around not too badly for the most part. However there were many days when the sidewalks were not very clear and it was either impossible or hellish. I have tried and tried, in vain, to search the internet for some sort of wheelchair winter glove that would stand up to our harsh winters. I have not had much luck. I find that I go through gloves very fast, and that in order to have as successful a trip out as I can, I need to keep a number of gloves on me. Ski gloves tend to be the most water resistant, but they are bulky and harder to grip the wheel with. Once the seems start to wear out though, game's over. When you're wheeling through snow, it's hard work! Not only is it usually soft, wet, very slushy snow, but you have to grip the wheel very hard to get through it. So you're grinding your hands in slush, basically. This proves to be very tough on gloves, and the water eventually goes right through the seams after a few times out.
I have found good cold weather no/minimal/hard snow and ice gloves. They are at www.sealskinz.com. Some have suggested I wear a pair of these under another bulkier pair of gloves. I find doing that is hard though, because like with any part of your body, the more layers you have on, the harder it is to move, including getting a good grip on the wheel. You'd think it wouldn't be so hard to come up with a good pair of solid, waterproof, warm, winter gloves. Anyone out there want to make some for me?? Some have suggested rubber gloves, but I am allergic to latex, so that's out. I know there are materials out there, like neoprene, that could be good for such a thing. If anyone can shed some light on this, or point me to a link where this kind of glove exists, I'd be forever grateful.
This time of year is a tough time to be out of work, another of my reasons for being lethargic. I have no specific time I need to be up, so I find it harder to get up. I have no specific time I need to go to bed, so I find it harder to go to bed. I know this is not a good pattern to get into, so I will have to try with all my might to get myself out of it before it becomes the norm.
And lastly, I haven't been eating that well, and that is undoubtedly contributing to my lack of energy. I have one friend (the friend I mentioned who is always calling but I never see) who keeps telling me to just enjoy it while I can. Ugh. Don't you just hate people who say that? "Hey, just enjoy it and relax while you can. I'm so busy at work, I'd kill for some time off!". Would they kill to have no income and wait over a month while Unemployment takes its sweet time on deciding whether you qualify for benefits?? Would they kill to have a friend who doesn't recognize they need to see people and keeps calling them instead of seeing them and saying things like "Hey, just enjoy it and relax while you can."?? Ugh.
Meanwhile, on a happy note, I've been planning a trip to Italy with my father in the Spring. I've been once before and fell in LOVE with it. Ok, so I actually fell in love with it before I ever went, but anyway. But now that I'm not getting work and probably won't until at least January, my dad has vocally wondered if it's such a good idea to go now. "What if you get a job before? What if they don't let you go? What if they decide not to hire you because of this trip?". See, he told me a long time ago (just over 7 years to be exact) that we could do a trip, just the 2 of us. Every year he keeps saying "not a good time, maybe next year". I finally pinned him down this summer and got him to commit, so this voiced concern over going ticked me off. On one level I felt he was just trying to get out of it. See, I have a stepmonster involved. They are pretty inseparable. It's annoying. This trip does not involve her. I don't get to see my dad without her very much. When I do, I always have to be the one to say "hey, let's do lunch, just you and I". I'm the kind of person who hates to be the one always to ask others, so often it doesn't get done. Yes, I know.. that's my own stubborn nature talking. But still, it's nice when the other person does their part sometimes. So I was really looking forward to this trip... because it's to Italy, and because I finally get some time with my dad. However, after letting it soak in, he does have a point. I mean heck, I'm in my mid 30s and I'm still trying to get freakin' established in my freakin' career. The smart thing to do would probably be to postpone the trip, but I'm not sure I'm ready to admit that fully yet.
Good thing I'm **** EDIT**** UNemployed (I can't believe I forgot the un.. that changes things quite a bit ;)). I have plenty of time to mull it over. And mull it over. And mull it over. Did I mention mulling it over?
Oh, and on a side note, 3 of my poems have been published recently! Woo hoo!