OMFG I've died and gone to heaven!!!!!

I will stray once again from my disability topic to say that finally, after 26 years of waiting and hoping, I, Ranter, HAVE SEEN THE POLICE IN CONCERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWICE!!!!! The first show I saw was amazing! The first time is always so special and in many ways you can't beat it. The second show was better in that it was a different city and the crowd there just went NUTS!!! I saw the first show alone, the second with my oldest friend from high school, which made it better to. Before the show she told me "I can't wait to see you go nuts!!" Oh, and I did go nuts! I screamed my freaking head off the entire time! They played pretty much all their big hits, with a few less known favourites thrown in, like The Bed's Too Big Without You, Regatta de Blanc, and Voices Inside My Head, and Next to You. Of course any respectable fan of The Police knows those songs ;). What was that absolute greatest thing about the concerts though, was that they consisted on stage of just Sting, Andy, and Stewart! No backup band! No backup singers!!! Phenomenal!!! And man, did they perform! I had seen Sting in concert a zillion times, and Andy twice, but never had the chance to see Stewart and I was mesmerized watching him beat the crap out of those drums! He had not only drums to look over though, he had a whole set of percussion, gongs, etc to work with and he sometimes had to leave his seat to reach another part of the set-up, and then hurry back to his seat for more. He did this with such fluidity and ease and talent, that I was blown away! I felt so honoured to be given this chance finally to see the 3 guys together. Their music was solid, and they gave a whole new feel to the songs, whose arrangement they played with so we weren't hearing the same old album versions. And it was great to hear Sting chanting the unforgettable "ee-oh, ee-yay, ee-yay yo"s!!! After such a long wait, my boys did not disappoint!! It feels amazing to say "I saw The Police!!" finally!! So I caved and bought more tickets for the fall. I can't wait!! :)

Membership does have its perks

As I sit here on my lunch break continuing my munch fest, I am ruminating over all the perks there are to being in a wheelchair. I thought it was time, as I've spent a lot of time on the negatives. I was talking to someone today about how I had snagged tix to two The Police concerts and they asked me how I managed to do that. I started to reply that I had called the second they went on sale, and kept redialing for about 40 mins, and kept on hold for about 20 more until a sales agent came on and I got my tix. But then I thought. Wheelchair seating doesn't get sold out necessarily at the same rate as the regular seating, so if I hadn't been needing wheelchair seating, I'd most likely have been out of luck. Also, when traveling to these concerts, I will travel by train most likely. Although I can get out of my chair, the wheelchair tie-down area is located in 1st class where we get all the extra luxury at regular fare. At general admission concerts, wheelchairs can often push their way to the front so they get a better view. Ok, I'm sure there are more perks somewhere, especially outside of concerts, but that's all I can come up with for now.

Yo yo yo-yo yo!

Back in September, I joined Weight Watchers. I have always had a weight problem and have lost, gained, lost, gained all my life. My mom always had me on diets when I was younger, including some fad diets. She followed weight watchers herself when I was younger and tried to teach me their way of eating. When I was in my late teens, I joined NutriSystem on my own accord. I lost most of the weight, then stopped and gained it all back. About 5 years later I went through a depression and lost 20 pounds. After I recovered from that, I kept losing naturally until I reached the lowest I'd ever reached in my adult life. The losing was slow and gradual, and effortless. The gaining back was slow and gradual, and effortless. About 4 1/2 years ago I started going to this adapted gym. For the past 3 1/2, I've been going pretty regularly, about 2-3 times a week, and then increasing to 3-5 times. I decided it was time to learn how to eat properly. Having said that, I know what I'm supposed to eat. I know about portions, I know about fruit and veggies, and I know about everything in moderation. My first 4 months of WW was incredibly easy. I lost 22 pounds and never felt deprived. I even made it through Christmas and was still losing, with Christmas dinner and all the family gatherings that came with the holiday season. I moderated, but didn't deprive. I changed my mentality to a way of life way of thinking. I don't believe in diet mentality. I want to learn to eat the way I'll eat for the rest of my life. I want to learn to not use food as a crutch when I'm feeling like crap. Then came January. The honeymoon ended. I have been yo-yoing ever since. As of today, I've actually gained. I can lose one week, and then gain it all back and then some the next week. Be really great for the next week and then blow it the week after. I can't for the life of me keep up the endurance. Well, this week was a blow it week. And I'll be traveling this weekend, so that will be a challenge. I skipped the gym today, but have been pretty good usually about going, except that my traveling means I'll miss another 2 sessions. I've done all the rationalization. I know I'm only sabotaging myself, I know no one cares but me, I know I should be easier on myself, I know all is not lost necessarily, but it's hard to keep going back and weighing in when I do this. And I know that losing the first bit of weight is always easier, and it gets harder the closer you get to your goal weight. That's the other thing, as of last week, I was only about 17 pounds away from my goal. Grrr grrr grrrrr!!!! I wish I had a private chef. Heck, I almost wish I was J.Lo... but then again... (shudder).

I need a dating guru!

So, today I had another adventure at the gym. There's this guy (boy, guess you didn't see that coming, eh?;)) who has been coming to the gym for a while. I had never talked to him, but have certainly noticed him. He's pretty quiet, does his thing on the bike for a good, long time, does a hard workout. He's got this tattoo, which I usually don't find attractive. Anyway, I guess he noticed I had been noticing him because a few weeks ago when I was doing one thing on one of the machines, he was on the stationary bike facing me. He nodded and sort of mouthed "hi", to which I nodded back. Since then we usually make eye contact and smile, nothing major. There are a couple machines that I need someone to take the seat out of so I can fit in with my chair. It's always a pain to ask someone to remove them. Anyway, today as I'm on one machine, he comes over and uses the machine next to me. He says something. I had my handy little protection with me (my iPod), so I didn't hear him. I took out the earphones and said "sorry?". He said "I was just saying hi, how are you?" Of course this is where my face inevitably goes red and I get all flustered. I said "Ohh, fine thanks, you?". He nods and we continue to do our workouts. Then he removes the seats of the machines so I can access them without me asking. Except, my back was turned when he did that, so I didn't see him do it, but asked him if he had and he said yes, to which I thanked him. Then I got all self-conscious. And that was it. So now I'm already freaking about the next visit and how I should handle it. I've already made it huge him my head, which I know is my first mistake, but I can't help it! I've probably read too much into things. Now I have days of going through the "should I say hello? Should I seek him out to do so? Do I just smile? What do I say? Will I be an idiot and go all spastic and simply ignore him? Play it too cool? Do I show interest? Do I leave my iPod at home next time? Aaaaaaaah! The doomsdayer in me has already convinced myself that I'll blow it, although there probably wasn't anything to blow in the first place as I've obviously made this into something it isn't. Is there a big fat L on my forehead? Thanks. That's great. Sigh.